


Love Will Tear Us Apart, Again

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Category: The Durrells (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Goodbyes, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 13:07:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: “I just have this feeling that if I leave tomorrow I’m never going to come back. That I’m never going to get the chance to.” She felt tears pool at the side of her eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being here again. Corfu had breathed the life back into her and she knew she’d feel dead again in England. “And that I’ll never see any of you ever again either; not you, Theo, Florence, Seven, you…”“You said me already.” Spiros teased her softly. She saw the playful glint in his eyes but it was muted by his own feelings of loss and trepidation at what was coming to all of them in Europe.WW2 Louisa/Spiros angst





	Love Will Tear Us Apart, Again

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song by Joy Division.

_Corfu, 1939_

On her last night on the island Louisa ended up in her favourite place; standing by the wall in her garden, looking out to the wide expanse of calming sea before her. All of the children had sulked off to bed at various stages of the evening. No one wanted to leave Corfu, least of all her but they didn’t have a choice. And unlike her offspring Louisa did not want to sleep for a single minute of tonight – she wanted to stay up looking at the island for as long as possible.  

Through her absent-minded musings she heard a car pull up behind her and turned to see Spiros sitting at the wheel of his beloved taxi. She was confused to see him. He only came to the house these days to pick up and drop off guests and they’d all died out in recent weeks thanks to the ever increasing threat of oncoming war and so she did not understand why he was there.

Spiros stepped out of the car, he took the hat off of his head and wrung it nervously in his hands as he approached her.   

“What are you doing here?” She asked as soon as he was in earshot.  

She knew she sounded abrupt, rude even but she was struggling to hold it together as it was. Any kind of encounter with him was sure to break her. She already felt the emotion building inside of her just by standing close to him. Perhaps it was a good thing she was leaving; she should not be feeling all these things after so much time when there was never really anything proper between in the first place.

Spiros shrugged his shoulders at the question but it did not look nonchalant.

“Just came to say goodbye I guess.” Louisa didn’t mention the fact that he had left it rather late in the day to do that; that he might have known the rest of the house would have been asleep and that he was driving them to the ferry in the morning any way.

“Not to check that I haven’t changed my mind?”

So many were imploring her to go she was starting to gain a complex; perhaps this was just the perfect excuse to get her rather irritating family off of the island. She knew that wasn’t true really. Her friends were looking out for her and everyone knew it would be safer in England, especially for the English.

“No.” Spiros denied softly. There was something eerily still and calm about him. This entire setup had an air of finality to it and it made her want to cry. He had reached her by then and stopped by her side, leaving a respectable distance that she still felt the urge to close even after almost two years. “You have to go back. It is the best thing for your family and I think you know this.”

Louisa turned back to face the sea, spreading her arms along the top of the wall as if she could push out all of the pain she was feeling. She couldn’t of course.

“I just have this feeling that if I leave tomorrow I’m never going to come back. That I’m never going to get the chance to.” She felt tears pool at the side of her eyes. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being here again. Corfu had breathed the life back into her and she knew she’d feel dead again in England. “And that I’ll never see any of you ever again either; not you, Theo, Florence, Seven, you…”

“You said me already.” Spiros teased her softly. She saw the playful glint in his eyes but it was muted by his own feelings of loss and trepidation at what was coming to all of them in Europe. Despite the heaviness deep in her stomach she smiled a little. She liked having him close to her.

“You have to go for me too. So I don’t have to worry about you being here.” The gravity that he applied to those words made it easy to believe how much he meant it; how much anxiety her presence on this no-doubt soon to be occupied island would cause him. “Italy will come and no one will be safe when they do; least of all enemies such as the English.” He told her seriously.  

“But how I am supposed to not worry about you?” Louisa demanded in reply. The thought of him staying here, waiting for them to come made her feel sick. He would lay down his life in a heartbeat for this island, the home that he loved so much and she was so painfully aware of it. He appeared to have no answer for this so instead he just bowed his head in silence. “You’re going to enlist, aren’t you?”

“Yes I think so.” He answered, his head still down. He did not want to look her in the eye when he broke her heart even further but he wasn’t going to lie to her either. He heard her breath hitch at the news and squeezed his eyes shut. How had the world come to this once more? How had his world come to this; when all he could do was hurt the woman he loved and his own family repeatedly. “Conscription will come eventually. Or occupation. If I enlist perhaps they will put me in the same regiment as before. Familiarity at least.”

She’d never given much thought to Spiros and the last war. He never spoke about it though most that returned couldn’t bring themselves to do that. And yet the idea of him in a uniform, carrying a riffle in some dismal, muddy trench somewhere in France was absurd to her. He was too bright, too full of life to have lived such brutal horror. Only he wasn’t. He had lived it and soon he would again. As she looked at him then she saw for the first time the drain those formative years had had on him. He wore the same look that every serving man of a certain age had been wearing lately; one of someone that knew what the very depths of hell resembled and would see it again soon enough.

“You know this is probably the longest conversation we’ve had in months. Years even.” Louisa commented after a few moments of heavy silence. It was true, it was.

“And I’m sorry about that. I was selfish. I thought it would make it easier for me to not see you. It didn’t work though. My feelings for you have not diminished in any way.” Spiros said sincerely.  

Their eyes met once more and she found she was suddenly breathless. As long as she did not voice any of the things she felt for him she could just about pretend that it wasn’t happening. That she had exaggerated what was ever between them. That there was never any hope of anything more. But his words and the way he was looking at her now was making a mockery of the deception that she had been clinging to for the last two years. A sob tore free from her throat, so violent it surprised even her though she had felt it building. He went to her in an instant, wrapping his arms around her back and bringing her into him until their foreheads were resting against each other’s.

“Louisa…” He breathed out, his own soul sounding as tormented as hers felt. And just like that it was as if she had travelled back in time; that it was two years earlier when he had held her as she cried and called her by her name. Nothing had changed. Two years of misery and absolutely nothing had changed. And now the war was going to tear them apart for good. She cried even more at the thought of it.

Louisa forced herself to take a couple of heaving, shuddering breaths to stop the tears from flowing. Spiros reached out and brushed some of them from her cheeks and then, when she was least expecting it he leant forward and kissed her, so softly it was barely there at all. He pulled back almost immediately and she found she missed the feel of his lips at once.

“Perhaps this is why I came. Because I could not bear the thought of you leaving without knowing what that felt like.” He explained quietly. She kissed him again. The embrace was still extremely tentative but she had a little more intent than he had.

“Just in case you forget the first one.” Louisa said once she had withdrawn from him. He smiled warmly at her and then she laid her head against his shoulder and sighed in something resembling contentment as he tightened his hold around her back and brought his lips down to rest them against her hair.

“Stay.” She requested quietly. “Please stay and hold me till morning.” In any other situation she would have hated how vulnerable, how needy she sounded. But she did need him. So utterly and completely, so much so she did not know how she was physically going to step onto that ferry come morning. “One last night before everything goes to shit.” She felt him chuckle against her in genuine amusement.

“I’ll stay.” He agreed easily. “This is the only place I want to be tonight.” She believed him. And for the next few hours that was enough.


End file.
